The Holidays Are Coming

It's hard to believe that it's less than two weeks before Thanksgiving. Then the holiday season begins.

This can be a very lonely time for singles. In an earlier post I mentioned that in the 1980s when people were divorced or widowed, they soon began looking for another partner. Particularly women. Then in the 1990s this changed. Women were often delighted with their new found freedom and as many had been or were working, they also had money to spend. Today the emphases seems to be on individual happiness and so both sexes are somewhat reluctant to even start to date. They may have had a difficult relationship previously and simply don't want to venture there again.

Men are frequently afraid of commitment, but women are slowly catching up with them. On the other hand, women often have certain expectations which may make it difficult to find a new love. One of my friends, now in the dating game in the big sky, wouldn't even entertain the thought of a date if the man was bald. She wanted a man with hair! Maybe because her late husband had been bald for much of their long, married life. It's time, my friends to be realistic and to look beyond the obvious. That gorgeous blond with curves may be interested only in herself and her own pleasures. That guy that looks like Tom Selleck may only be concerned with what he wants. I suggest you make a list of the basisc qualities you want in a new partner. I wanted someone who liked cats. (You'll find a short version of that story in my companion blog, www.theromancegame.blogspot.com or click on the link below my bio.

Why bother, you may ask. Why even read my book, "50 Ways to Find Romance after 50" if you are not looking for romance. Well, think about the holidays. Maybe you never get lonely. I did. Even though I was dating some very nice men during the 23 years before I met Harry (again see The Romance Game), I still was lonely for that special someone with whom to share the holiday joy. It's just not that much fun to go to parties alone although that may be a good place to meet new people. I loved my friends and my children always made sure I was invited to everything they did, but it was never quite the same. Sometimes you want someone with whom to share the quiet time, the beauty of that time of year, even the pleasure of buying something special for your love.

Of course, once you meet that new someone, it may make the holidays more complicated. Whose house do you go to for Thanksgiving? Christmas? Or are you now obligated to have a holiday celebration for his/her family yourself? Well, it can all be worked out with a little patience and a lot of tact.

But I'm not lonely anymore. I have kept all my single friends and I would never abandon them for many reasons which I'll talk about in another blog. Now I also have the joy of a loving partner so in a way, I have it all. If you'd like to learn about the many ways to find romance at any age, read my book. There's even a chapter on how to flirt again. My friend Ruthe, who has been widowed for several years, found one romance with a delightful man who shared her interest in art at a painting class. He has since faded out of picture. Recently she stopped at a gas station but was a little puzzled as to how to fill the gas tank of her car. A handsome, tall (she's almost six feet) gentleman offered to help her. They've been dating ever since! And she wasn't even looking, but I can tell that her life is much happier lately. It was full and rewarding before because she thoroughly enjoys her painting and likes her life, but now it's even more fun.

Think about it and don't be afraid of a new relationship. Also if you plan any parties this year, be sure to invite both your single and your married friends. I just had a birthday party for my oldest son and invited them all. I try never to forget my friends who have filled my life before when I was married, during the time I was single or just dating, and now with a wonderful man in my life.
If you are interested in my book or in buying one as a gift to a friend, let me know on the comments link.

You'll also see a link to Harry's Art Blog which you can visit.

Cheers,

Gloria