MSG Can Destroy Romance

We seem to be destroying our lives and thus our chance at romance
by some of the things we eat. I knew that I was "sensitive" to MSG but like many I thought that it was primarily Chinese food that contained MSG. The first time I encountered it was several years ago. I had eaten at a Chinese restaurant and about 15 minutes later my whole body felt heavy and lethargic. Whoops. Gee. It must be MSG.

Then last year Harry and I decided on Chinese at a restaurant I had been told did not use MSG. Again, by the time we walked to the car I could hardly move. Wrong. They did add it to their food. We returned a few months later and I asked. They had practically no dishes without it.

Then a few weeks ago I bought a large jar of snacks consisting of pretzels, small crackers, and orange curls, to eat while I drove home, about 100 miles. The following morning and again in the afternoon I munched on a handful. This continued for several days. I felt steadily more heavy, both in body and mind. My legs ached so badly I could hardly sleep. Finally I checked the ingredients and found to my dismay that every piece of the munchies in the jar contained MSG.

I went on the internet and started researching, what for me, was almost a lethal additive. I found to my horror that while companies had to list MSG as an ingredient, there are many forms of it they do not. What do I EAT?

Well, it's a very complicated subject. And I can't help but wonder if this and other approved additives have been the source of my fatigue for most of my life. It also is a problem which is seldom talked about. I discovered that another of my friends found eating MSG in anything was like eating poison.


I suggest if you have these or a myriad of other symptoms including those like arthritis, insomnia, tightness of the chest, etc start thinking about the possibility you are sensitive to MSG. Some internet sites to peruse are Health Maven.com, Battling the MSGmyth.com and MSGTruth.com.

It now takes me double the time to shop and I am finding only a few things to eat. Of course fresh vegetables are good but watch the salad dressings.

I'll try to add other snippets of information as I continue blogging. That is when I am not searching the grocery shelves for MSG free foods or cooking my meals from scratch! In the meantime let me know your experiences. I am continuing to feel better as I detox my poor cells. And don't forget the huge amounts of sugar, sodium, and sulfites in food and drink (such as wines) which can also have bad effects. Or there are simple (relatively) food allergies. A friend was being treated for arthritis. It was suggested that she might be allergic to milk. Her brother, a doctor, laughed. She tried not eating any milk products for a couple weeks. Surprise! She didn't have arthritis.

As I said this is not a simple subject. There is a long list of alternative names and a long list of symptoms. I'll try to include a note or two on my experiences and how avoidance of the bad additives is changing my life and certainly making romance a whole lot more fun for both Harry and me!


Don't forget that I have my book, "50 Ways to Find Romance after 50" on special for a limited time. Just click on the link to my website. From there you can order the book and use Pay Pal. You'll receive your book within one week.

The Secret to Happiness in a Loving Relationship

What's the secret to happiness in marriage and/or in a long term commitment?

Whether you have been married for what literally may be for most of your life or if you have recently found a new life partner, everyone wants a happy relationship. Is it possible? Can even a long-term, tired marriage be revived? Yes and yes! First of all time is in your favor. People over 50 are generally happier than those under 50. Married people tend to be happier than those who are single. Through many, many interviews spanning 40 years with hundreds of couples, I have indeed found the secret for happiness in marriage and the steps to find and develop that happiness. It takes time and effort for both partners, but with a sense of humor and persistence, happiness can be yours and of course your partner's...... your other half, your soul mate...... your friend!

In the 1970s I began publishing a magazine which explored the changing relationships between men and women at the time women had begun to expand their lives outside the home and to emerge as a force in the working world. During this time, I and another writer Ruthe Miller began researching happiness in marriage with numerous personal interviews of couples plus over 400 people filled out an extensive scientifically designed questionnaire to find predictors of marital happiness. This was the beginning of my lifelong exploration of the changing relationships between men and women.

Desire for a successful, happy marriage changed as the last century progressed. In the 1980s women and men who had been widowed or divorced were most anxious to find another partner. By the 1990s, both started becoming more cautious and less driven in their search to become a couple. The view of 'old maids' changed and became obsolete. Single women were no longer considered losers. Still men tended to marry sooner after a death or divorce than women, sometimes with disastrous results.

Regardless, in the new 21st century both men and women continue their search for that perfect partner hoping that they could find happiness but not sure how to meet that new love. Ways in which they met and what drew them together prompted me to write my book: 50 Ways to Find Romance after 50, Love and Lust in Later Life.

Included in the book is more about the secret to happiness, how to flirt again, and financial considerations to be discussed.

There is no doubt that the most important factor in the secret of happiness in marriage is to find that special person who can become your best friend. Over and over, throughout the years, this was the most frequent reason given by couples for being happy with their partners.

Sounds simple but it's not. To begin with men and women think of friendship differently. Men seem to have buddies and rarely discuss their feelings. Women talk and frequently discuss almost everything. Following is a good example of how men and women differently interpret what their spouse is saying. If a woman complains of a problem to her husband, he feels honor bound to fix it. But that is rarely what a woman wants. "Once I convinced my husband that I just needed to vent and that I didn't need a solution as men think they must find and that their egos demand, our marriage became almost perfect," related one wise woman.

I've heard this same complaint from a hostess on TV, a well-known radio personality, and couples whom I've interviewed. Obviously, one of the most important aspects of being a friend is to listen to the other and to be aware of his or her wishes.

You need to take time to be friends. Develop trust and respect for each other. Perhaps you could designate a specific time to bring each other up to date. Some couples enjoy relaxing over cocktails. (Do not turn on TV!) Or have a date night and find comfortable surroundings in which to discuss new ideas and mutual goals. If you trade confidences, never betray those to any others. As a writer I have been told many secrets which I have kept secret. I have a reputation for trust and so all of those I interview talk freely to me.

If you would like to learn more about romance after 50, along with financial guidelines, and how to meet a new romance, you can now order my book directly from my website: romanceafter50.com or just click on the link on the right hand side of this page. For a limited time there is a special half price sale and you can pay directly through Pay Pal.

More on happiness in a romantic relationship in my next blog. If you have any questions, I'd very much like to hear from you.

FINDING A NEW LOVE

Lately on TV there have been many discussions about how you meet someone new. Of course, all anyone has to do is read my book, "50 Ways to Find Romance After 50, Love and Lust in Later Life." Naturally I'd feel that way. After all I met Harry following my own advice.

Be that as it may, one of the primary rules is that if you are not meeting any one new and interesting in your present environment, then you should get out of your comfort zone. Harry and I found each other on the internet. Actually I found his cat, Laura. He was holding her in his arms and as I have had cats all my life, I felt that here was a man with whom I might find many things in common. In fact, that was true. Also our lifestyles were similar as he was an artist who worked free lance for many years and as I was a writer I had done the same. We also both had traveled extensively During the 23 years that I was single having been widowed many years before, I would date a very nice man who had hardly been out of the state or another one who felt in competition with me which I could never understand. I was never trying to be better than anyone else. I just do what I do.

Which brings me to a second 'truth'. Look for someone who has similar interests. When young our raging hormones often would lead to an attraction to someone quite different from ourselves. Maybe this is a way that nature keeps a good mix of genes, but living with someone can be difficult enough let alone if that someone has totally different ideas and pleasures. Often in my book a man or woman would express how much s/he enjoyed life now that s/he had someone with whom to share their special joys of life. This doesn't mean you have to be like the Bobbysey twins, but too often I've encountered, for example, a couple where one loves to travel and the other wants to stay home or one adores sports and the other could care less. It gets old soon trying to be interested in something you care nothing about.

In future posts, I'll talk about how to use the internet to date as well as the other 50 plus ways to find romance under or over 50 years of age. But whatever you do, look at finding romance as an adventure. If your expectations are too high or too set or too rigid you'll be constantly disappointed and probably give up too soon. Even if you never meet the right one, you could have a lot of fun. And who knows, the wrong one could have a right friend.

At first I was afraid that the cats which drew us together would keep us apart. I recently brought my two down to Harry's and after a couple days peace reigned - more or less. The biggest problem is getting them in their traveling cases and then lifting them. My Snickelfritz weighs 18 pounds without the case. I'll include their photos as we go along.

Whatever your age, you can still find enjoyment dating. You can also be bored. Going out with the girls - or fellows - can be fun too. I've done both. But meeting Harry has definitely enriched my life. We are engaged and to some degree we are comfortable in the relationship as is. However, we have agreed we need to get our act together. One of these days!





Harry's cat JPEG joins the mail.

ROMANCE RETURNS SOON

Hi dear friends,

Have had an energy low for a few months but will return in February with new stories and photos. In the meantime, romance can be, and often is, better the older we get.

Happy New Year.

Abstract Paintings and Adventure in Mexico

In this post I'll show you some of Harry's abstract paintings. Why am I doing this on my romance after 50 blog? Well, Harry will turn 81 this June. He is still painting and blogging and is constantly romancing me with delicious dinners. We go to our favorite restaurants and then we try some new ones. In Sawyer where he lives, there always seems to be a new eatery opening somewhere nearby.

I'm also the envy of some of my girlfriends and many sales women. Harry actually likes to go shopping with me and loves to buy me shoes, preferably sexy high heels which fortunately I can still wear. I'll have to take a photo of the latest ones: a pair of Nine West bright red shoes with three inch heels and another pair of hot pink three inch heels plus a matching purse. The only problem is that today we don't seem to dress up quite as much as we used to do. Almost everyone is casual wearing flat heeled shoes. When I drive I do wear flats but I am determined to wear a pair of my many heels even with my more casual dress when we go out.


Now, back to Harry. Here are two of his abstract paintings. Many of them are on display at the Port 412 in St. Joseph, MI. And WOW, do they make a difference in how the restaurant looks! There are also a some paintings at the Craig Smith Gallery in Harbert, Mi, near Sawyer. It is on the Red Arrow Highway in southwest Michigan.

His gallery in Mexico, The Loft, is interested in having some abstracts as well. When we were there recently we had lunch with John Strawn, the owner on the left with Harry on the right. Harry and I both became fond of having a mango daquiri with our lunch. Actually Harry preferred a margarita. If you want to slow down, try a vacation in Mexico. Those with A personalities have a difficult time adjusting and should never even consider staying there for any length of time.

Usually Harry and I try to go on the fabulous house tours sponsored by the International Friendship club with the proceeds going to help children with cleft palates. This time we both felt we were really burned out. We also discovered that we were really out of shape. Every time we'd think about going for a walk, we'd end up falling asleep! Almost a week passed by before we started walking on the beach or even downtown Puerto Vallarta. Fortunately or unfortunately our favorite shop, VIVA, no longer exists so our shopping was at a minimum. I did however find a couple of inexpensive dresses at the Fiesta Americana hotel where we usually stay. I had packed my summer clothes that I had worn last year without trying them on and found to my dismay, I had gained weight. These dresses were quite plain, lovely colors, and could be changed with jewelry. My daughter said the dress makes me look huge, but the gauze material was cool and flowed as I walked. I had brought a pair of turquoise heels with me which matched perfectly. The necklace and earrings I also purchased at the hotel boutique. They are made from bone and are much lighter than turquoise gemstone. I've received numerous compliments on the jewelry when I wear it here in Michigan. Harry is in the middle of the photo along with my longtime friend Pamela. We are at Trio, one of our favorite restaurants in Puerto Vallarta. It's become a tradition for the three of us to dine there on every trip.

That's it for now. For more chit chat about our trip to Mexico, check out my other blog, theromancegame.blogspot.com or simply click it on from the links on the right side. Thanks for stopping by and have a super day. I'll have more of adventures in the near future. Let me know what you would like to read about or how you like this blog by leaving a comment which you can click on at the bottom.

Harry Borgman, fine artist, and my internet romance

I've been introducing you to Harry Borgman, the lively artist I met on the internet four years ago. We're now into our fifth year of dating! Wow. And we've just returned from a wonderful visit to Puerto Vallarta where we try to go every year. We almost didn't vacation there this year because of the state of the economy and what it has done to our retirement savings. Then we checked out the Orbitz travel site and found that both air and hotel were approximately half price. How could we resist. I eventually called Orbitz to get more information about the hotel room which we wanted to upgrade plus we were awarded a $200 coupon. We also saved about $500 by leaving town on a 5:30 a.m. plane but we probably would not do that again. It takes a couple days to get over exhaustion. On the plus side by 1 p.m. we were having lunch at our favorite table next to the beach at the Fiesta American.

I'll write more about this trip with photos on my other blog, theromancegame.blogspot.com, (or you can simply click the link listed on the upper right of this page). Now I want to introduce you to more of Harry's art. He is one of the most versatile artists around. By the way his art work will be on display at a restaurant, Port 412, on State St.in St. Joseph, MI, Sunday, April 19, 2-5 p.m., there is a special opening for the show. It's also a charity event with tickets for $35 which will buy you two cocktails and numerous hors d'oeurves. Part of the proceeds will be going to the Boys and Girls Club of Benton Harbor.

While in Puerto Vallarta we visited the gallary "The Loft", where some of Harry's artwork may be seen. John, the owner, has requested Harry send him a few of his abstract paintings. I'll let you know when they will be on display later this year.

Harry's paintings and sculptures have been exhibited in galleries in New York, Chicago, Detriot and Harbor County as well as in Paris, France where he lived for several years. His graphic designs have been featured in magazines and television by advertising agencies around the world. He was art director on the Chevrolet account at the Campbell Ewald Agency but decided he enjoyed the hands on work of art design and fine art more. He has just recently designed a medallion for the Corvair Club celebrating the 50th year since GM first made the car.

Following is another art medium he has developed over the past few years. These are digital designs which have attracted much attention and are some of my favorite pieces of art.

















These designs can be reproduced in other colors so are perfect for interior decorating. These are only two of many.

















Harry is also an outstanding photographer. His photos of a small beach on Lake Michigan are not only beautiful for their variety, but amazing as they were all taken in the same area but look totally different with a vast number of subtle colors. Of course all these digital paintings and photographs are available. For further information contact me by leaving a comment with you email at the end of this blog or by linking to his blogs. There are still more samples of his art work to come. It's amazing what and who you can find on the internet! Your pal Gloria

Artists Are Romantic, too! Harry and Gloria in Puerto Vallarta.

After we turn 50, romance seems more elusive than ever. The question I was asked most often during the years I published "Choices, for the Rest of Your Life" was "How do I meet a new love?" I had been a widow for over 23 years at the time and was curious myself. I was reasonably prominent in my town but still the choice of men seemed limited. Thus, the reason I wrote my book 50 WAYS TO FIND ROMANCE AFTER 50. I decided to go to the horse's mouth, so to speak, and interviewed over 50 couples over 50 who had met and married or developed a committed relationship after they had turned 50. One of the ways a couple in my book met was on the internet. At the time that I started the book there were limited options of sites on which to meet. As I was giving many talks around the area after my book was published, I decided to see what was happening in the cyber world.

I was astonished to find that now there is a special site for almost everyone. If you like dogs, there's a site. Or cats. Or a special religion. Or your favorite hobby. Even one for your special chemistry. I met Harry, a recent widower, on one of the more traditional sites and liked that he was holding one of his cats in his photo. After many emails we established that we had similar likes and similar lifestyles. It wasn't long before we were on our way to Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. I had had a client there for many years for whom I published a newsletter and he and his late wife had enjoyed vacationing there. We even were fond of the same hotel, the Fiesta Americana. One of his daughters' asked if he really wanted to go with a strange woman (me). My daughter told me to have fun. We went and have been vacationing there ever since. Harry has some of his paintings in a gallery there as well as friends from his ad agency days. I always look forward to visiting my friend Pamela who own Rancho el Charro (see links for her website). We always go horseback riding on one of her 32 horses at least once while Harry strolls around the small village where her ranch is located. We also look forward to sampling the many wonderful restaurants there. Harry also suggests good subjects for me to photograph and I have sold several from my series on "Portos of Mexico" at the Scarlet Macaw Gallery in Sawyer, MI. I'll include a couple of my photos in a future blog. Incidentally, all the books and artwork shown on these blogs are also available for purchase. Just leave a note in the comments area which you can access at the end of this post.

Here a fun photo and a couple of Harry's watercolors of Puerto Vallarta. In the next blog I'll share with you some of his abstract paintings and digital art. And his watercolors: