HAPPY NEW YEAR

It's almost 2009. I have been neglecting you dear friends but will return with more stories and more ideas to find romance after 50. In the meantime you could read my book, "50 Ways to Find Romance after 50" which you can order by emailing me at romanceafter50@sbcglobal.net. The book sells for $19.95, but as a New Year's special I will send it to you for $15.00 including s&h. I really want you to find romance in the new year as it can be lots of fun. While I have had a most interesting life as a widow, Harry has enriched my life greatly. I vow this next year we will merge the cats and our lives.

Please let me know how you are and what are your questions. Have a laugh at the following cartoon. Sometimes you just have to take a leap of faith!



HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Finding Love at 80

Sometimes I get really annoyed that people over 50 are often portrayed by advertisers as looking gray, wrinkled, dull, totally consumed by a variety of diseases and sexless - unless they are taking Viagra, of course. Perhaps it's only because I am no spring chicken that I find many older people today are looking and acting vibrant and ageless.

In my last two posts I have brought you the new romances of two couples, both over 80. They are having a good time, love dining out, and traveling. They are intelligent, delightful people who are not constantly taking pills or spending their lives in a doctor's waiting room.

Well, here's another. A neighbor down the street, Susie Damore, who is something of a matchmaker, called to tell me about her latest success, a romance between Ed and Betty.

A career accountant for many of her 84 years and quite happy with her life, Betty has been a friend of Susie's for many years. Although she never married, she did have several romances which for a variety of reasons never quite worked out. "I always felt that I couldn't work and be married," explained Betty. "Also my brother lived with me for many years. He died three years ago."

Ed, 82, a real estate broker and builder, had been happily married since a young man.
When his wife died five years before, he became quite depressed. Shortly after Susie met him she told him, "I have just the gal for you." She told him about Betty.

He was impressed and called Betty. Then he drove over to her house. "When I saw him get out of the car, I thought he had a pleasant face." At first Ed froze when Betty opened her door. He explained to her that she looked a lot like his late wife. Even her laugh reminded him of his lost love. But they immediately clicked and they talked and talked for hours. They discovered they both loved dancing, especially polka dancing, they are animal lovers, and they enjoy music. "He's so sweet and he makes me laugh," she said. "It seemed as if I have known him for years."

That was in April. They were married in August, inspired by their Catholic faith. "I surprised everybody by getting married!" she smiled. They had a small chapel wedding with just his family and with Susie as their Matron of Honor. They decided to live in Betty's house which he likes, while his son continues to live in his.

As in any relationship there are compromises. Betty likes almost every kind of food while Ed is allergic to several of her favorite dishes. At times it seems as if she is cooking two different meals. But she feels that is a minor problem as they have such a wonderful marriage. She certainly doesn't regret merging her life with Ed's.

If you have any stories of romance in later life please share them with me and the other readers of this blog. As many of the couples in my book, "50 Ways to Find Romance after 50" told me, love can be even better when you believe it's too late to find it again. As these couples discovered, that's really true.

Age 80 is the New 50! Stay Healty.

My friend Ruthe has been widowed for several years. She was the sales director for my magazine GLORY and my co-author on research about romance in the 1970s. We found out through a scientifically designed study and interviews with over 350 people that the most important part of being in love was to be really good friends.

Anyway, Ruthe has always been involved in the art world. She and her husband owned an art gallery for awhile and she herself is an artist. After his death she began attending painting classes and met a very nice man there. She and he had many good times taking their paints and canvas out into interesting sites. While he was more serious about the relationship than she, they continued to date for about six years. Then he became a little forgetful. Eventually a guardian was appointed to take care of his affairs and he ended up in a retirement home. (The guardian proved to be a bad choice and it took legal action to remove him. Then another was appointed. This whole subject needs to be explored another time as in some states, guardians can take and have taken advantage of their position. There is little or no supervision for this job.) When Ruthe's friend began forgetting that she was visiting him, she decided it was time to back off.

Wouldn't you know it! Not too long ago she stopped at a gas station to fill up her tank and was confused as to how to use the gas pump. A distinguished gentleman who had also stopped offered to help her. And now they are dating. Only Ruthe who is now at least 80 and almost 6 feet tall would meet a new man at a gas station! And she wasn't even looking for romance. It must be that 80 is the new 50.

You just never know. I've known other women who would very much like to meet someone and nothing happens no matter how enthusiastically they look. I also have friends that would like to meet someone, but just don't feel up to the task. It does take energy and you almost always have to be upbeat about your search.

I have been in search of energy for several years and have discovered something that really seems to help. Another friend, Janet Bender, called me from Georgia to tell me about MonaVie, a fruit drink with more antioxidants and anti-inflammatory phytonutrients than several servings of whole fruit. It's so concentrated that you only have to take from 2 to 4 ounces daily. Then I read about it in a health letter by Susan Lark, M.D. Her "Women's Wellness Today" is the only health newsletter that I have continued to take over the years. She writes that this delicious fruit juice contains the benefits of red wine with none of the drawbacks and is effective for relieving chronic pain and stiffness. My daughter found a distributor in our town and I have tried it. For me it works. I must report that I feel better and have more energy than I have had in years. While I am taking other recommended supplements and plan to continue taking most of them, MonaVie gives me the extra boost that I needed. Unfortunately, it is not cheap. I will probably drop some of the supplements so I can continue with this fruit drink which includes 19 fruits in all with the acai berry from the Amazon its main ingredient. You can find more information on the internet or call 801-748-3100.

Well, that's my contribution to getting you up and out to find fun in your life. I can't believe how much I have accomplished since I began taking the juice. There are just so many fun and interesting ideas to explore that I want all the good health and energy I can find!

There is romance for almost everyone at almost any age. I won't pretend that it's the most important factor in a life, but it does make it more exciting and more fun to share the treasures around us with another such as my honey, Harry Borgman. By the way my friend M. is having a wonderful time in Florida. (I talked about her in the last post.)

That's it for now my friends. Keep a smile on your face and generosity in your heart.

Gloria

Take a Chance on Romance!

Recently Anne Mulder, one-half of one of the couples in my book "50 Ways to Find Romance after 50" was in the news. Anne is now the interim president of Grand Rapids Community College. She is being paid over $600 a day plus a monthly allowance of $500 for a car and $2,000 for other expenses. She's always been successful and continues to be so.

I've known Anne for many years and she is an outstanding person. Her marriage to Tony reads like something out of a romance novel. In 1995 Anne, then a retired president of Lake Michigan College in Michigan, went on vacation with longtime friend, Vernis, to the Greek island of Mykonos. She met Tony in his jewelry shop there and was intrigued.

She and Vernis stayed on the island for a few more days and she enjoyed a light flirtation with this handsome man. "It was so unlike me, but I decided to have an adventure," Anne said. She invited him to the United States for Christmas.

Eventually they married in 1999 and decided to live in Florida where Anne owned a condo. She enjoyed her retirement but later accepted a two-year commitment to be Dean of the School of Education at Grand Valley State University. Her friends loved having her back and we'd see them occasionally at a party or dinner. Then she went back into retirement which of course only lasted a couple of years.

For the details of this fairy tale romance you'll have to read my book. You can leave your request with the comments, have it ordered by your local book store, or visit my website: www.romanceafter50.com. (It sells for under $20 and would make a great gift!) Incidentally not only did Anne take a chance on following her heart when she met Tony, she also is a great example of an older woman with a somewhat younger man. Hoo-ray!

I am constantly meeting couples who have taken a chance in the second half of the lives to find happiness. One couple dated in high school and the story of how they reunited is another fantastic tale. Another couple met when volunteering with the local theatre group.

If you haven't found a new romance in your own environment, maybe you need to venture into another pasture. What's the interest of your heart? Go, explore, enjoy. You might meet someone with whom to share your passion.

If you have recently met someone or you know of someone who has, let me know. I'd like to share the story with the other bloggers. Happy hunting! Gloria

The Holidays Are Coming

It's hard to believe that it's less than two weeks before Thanksgiving. Then the holiday season begins.

This can be a very lonely time for singles. In an earlier post I mentioned that in the 1980s when people were divorced or widowed, they soon began looking for another partner. Particularly women. Then in the 1990s this changed. Women were often delighted with their new found freedom and as many had been or were working, they also had money to spend. Today the emphases seems to be on individual happiness and so both sexes are somewhat reluctant to even start to date. They may have had a difficult relationship previously and simply don't want to venture there again.

Men are frequently afraid of commitment, but women are slowly catching up with them. On the other hand, women often have certain expectations which may make it difficult to find a new love. One of my friends, now in the dating game in the big sky, wouldn't even entertain the thought of a date if the man was bald. She wanted a man with hair! Maybe because her late husband had been bald for much of their long, married life. It's time, my friends to be realistic and to look beyond the obvious. That gorgeous blond with curves may be interested only in herself and her own pleasures. That guy that looks like Tom Selleck may only be concerned with what he wants. I suggest you make a list of the basisc qualities you want in a new partner. I wanted someone who liked cats. (You'll find a short version of that story in my companion blog, www.theromancegame.blogspot.com or click on the link below my bio.

Why bother, you may ask. Why even read my book, "50 Ways to Find Romance after 50" if you are not looking for romance. Well, think about the holidays. Maybe you never get lonely. I did. Even though I was dating some very nice men during the 23 years before I met Harry (again see The Romance Game), I still was lonely for that special someone with whom to share the holiday joy. It's just not that much fun to go to parties alone although that may be a good place to meet new people. I loved my friends and my children always made sure I was invited to everything they did, but it was never quite the same. Sometimes you want someone with whom to share the quiet time, the beauty of that time of year, even the pleasure of buying something special for your love.

Of course, once you meet that new someone, it may make the holidays more complicated. Whose house do you go to for Thanksgiving? Christmas? Or are you now obligated to have a holiday celebration for his/her family yourself? Well, it can all be worked out with a little patience and a lot of tact.

But I'm not lonely anymore. I have kept all my single friends and I would never abandon them for many reasons which I'll talk about in another blog. Now I also have the joy of a loving partner so in a way, I have it all. If you'd like to learn about the many ways to find romance at any age, read my book. There's even a chapter on how to flirt again. My friend Ruthe, who has been widowed for several years, found one romance with a delightful man who shared her interest in art at a painting class. He has since faded out of picture. Recently she stopped at a gas station but was a little puzzled as to how to fill the gas tank of her car. A handsome, tall (she's almost six feet) gentleman offered to help her. They've been dating ever since! And she wasn't even looking, but I can tell that her life is much happier lately. It was full and rewarding before because she thoroughly enjoys her painting and likes her life, but now it's even more fun.

Think about it and don't be afraid of a new relationship. Also if you plan any parties this year, be sure to invite both your single and your married friends. I just had a birthday party for my oldest son and invited them all. I try never to forget my friends who have filled my life before when I was married, during the time I was single or just dating, and now with a wonderful man in my life.
If you are interested in my book or in buying one as a gift to a friend, let me know on the comments link.

You'll also see a link to Harry's Art Blog which you can visit.

Cheers,

Gloria

It's Never Too Late

Hello there,

On this blog I will concentrate on stories about romances of couples 50 and over. In my book I interviewed over 50 couples - how they met, about their courtship, and a little bit about their philosophy. In all cases, the couples were happy about their relationship. And I hear about new romances every day.

A dear friend of mine, M., was widowed in late June of this year. Her husband had been ill for quite a while and for over a year she didn't know if he would be alive in the morning when she woke. For several years they had gone with another couple to her class reunion which was in another town. It just so happened that in January of this year J. had lost his wife. Before M.'s husband died they had planned to go to a reunion together in August of this year. J. called M. and suggested that he pick her up and he would drive her to the reunion. She asked me what I thought. I said: GO. My partner and lover, Harry, and I even took M. out to my favorite shop, Chico's, so she could shop for a new outfit. They went and had a good time. After all she had known him since high school. And high school reunions, I might point out, are a great place to renew old friendships. There's an incredible story in my book of one such couple.

Anyway, J. started driving up from his home in another state to visit M. and she introduced him to many of our friends. He invited her to go to Florida with him where he has a condo. She asked me if I thought she should go. I replied: "If you were 20 or even 30 I would suggest you go slowly. But you are 80. GO." You see it can happen at any time.

It's never to late to find romance. I might add I have talked to M. since she went down to Florida and she's having a wonderful time. That doesn't mean she's forgotten her late husband of over 57 years, but she also realizes she must get on with her life.

Sometimes romance just happens. Sometimes it may take years. It was over 23 years after my husband died before I met Harry. Oh, I dated, but it just never worked out. I have many more stories to tell you and would like to hear about your experience.

In my book, most of the couples did decide to marry. However, over the years that I have written about romance after 50, marriage isn't always the answer to a relationship. In the 1980s, if a man or woman became single, he or she pretty much wanted to get married again. Then in the 1990s, the atmosphere changed. Women were discovering that they liked being single but loved having a relationship. In some cases there was still the view that couples should marry because of what their grandchildren might think. They didn't want to be a bad example. I do have one couple in my book who each live in houses near each other, share a cat, have dinner together, and travel together as well. She was in her 60s when they met, had a notable career and didn't want to marry although she thoroughly enjoyed the companionship. Times have changed even more in this new century. After all, who cares at this age.

You can read an excerpt from my book at my website: www.romanceafter50.com. Also I am writing about all aspects of romance in my other blog: theromancegame.blogspot.com. You might wish to check that one out, too. We're going to have some fun astrology tips on that one as well different cartoon by Harry. Check out his blog, too. (HarryBorgmanartblog.blogspot.com) .

Tune in for more stories. I look forward to hearing from you.

GB

New & Old Loves

Hi there,

There is love after 50, believe me. I'm having the best time of my life with my new love. I just wish we could get our cats together and then decide where to live. We have friends in both towns (which are 100 miles apart) and driving back and forth is getting a bit strenuous.

I'll be bringing you stories of romances from my book and new ones as well. I just heard about a couple who met polka dancing at a Polish Hall and who recently married at ages 84 and 82. I'll track them down and give you a glimpse of their romance.

I continually meet people who have successfully found romance in later life. It happens all the time and it can happen for you. In fact it's easier now, in many ways, than ever before. Let me know what you would like to read about and I'll do my best.

Need to run but I'll get back to you soon.

Your romance guide, Gloria

Make the Romance Game Fun!

Hi there!

The romance game should be fun. Particularly if you're over 30. It's even better as you get older. Or, as I said, it should be. If you expect each man or woman that you meet and then date to be THE ONE, you'll have a miserable time. I do not believe that there is a perfect mate to be found. Maybe an almost perfect one, but not the only soul mate for you. However, if you look for someone who shares many of your passions and lives a comparable life style, there should be a chance for success and happiness.

In order for the game to be a pleasure instead of a pain, you must start out by being happy the way you are now. I've learned to appreciate the little things such as having a rough road I drive on finally repaved. Finding a really ripe melon in the store. Catching the ringing phone before the person hangs up. Little stuff such as that.

Then when I would meet and date a man (before I met Harry whose cartoons give you a chuckle on each post) I was always pleased when he would assume I enjoyed a good restaurant or who would compliment me on my outfit or just give me a quick hug in the joy of greeting. I, in turn, would always compliment him on something - how nice he looked, what fun I was having, or how thoughtful he was. Make him happy, too. Always try to make the relationship positive even if you are not totally enchanted with your current date. It's good practice for that special relationship yet to come.

Well, that's it for now. Much more to come. Practice appreciating at least one thing each day.
I apreciate all your comments.

Gloria

New Rules, Romance Gets Better

Perhaps there are new rules in that there are less rules about marriage, living together, dating, etc. Which is good as long as both parties view their relationship in the same way. This goes back to expectations which we all have regardless of age.

What is it that we want from a relationship? If we're from conventional backgrounds, we probably assume that a good relationship will gradually progress into a marriage relationship. But that's not always true of course. Recently I met a very successful artist now in her 80s who, I learned, lives with her lover three or four days out of seven which surprised me. I had assumed they were married, perhaps because they have white hair! I should know better. The young don't have a lock on a less conventional relationship. Obviously this is what works for them. In fact, I am finding such an unconventional relationship is becoming more of the norm. And it's OK.

In my book I interviewed another couple who dine together every night, travel together, and even share a cat, but choose to live just houses apart. In this case the man really wanted to get married; the woman not. This was their compromise.

Of course, you have to meet someone before you can decided what kind of a relationship you are going to have. I'll concentrate on how to find romance for awhile in the blogs to come. Please let me know what you think.

Look upon romance as an adventure, not as a need.

Gloria

New Rules after 50

Hi dear reader,

Generally by the time we reach that delightful age of 50 or older, we've been married, divorced, widowed, or certainly we've had many encounters with the opposite sex. In my book "50 Ways to Find Romance after 50" I interviewed couples representing all the above experiences plus a couple of people who had never had a really serious relationship until the right person came along. Since about the 1990s, some couples have chosen to become best friends and committed to each other, but remain single. There are still a few who marry only because they are afraid of what their grandchildren might think or who worry they might be a bad example to their children and grandchildren. That's your own, private choice.

The single biggest problem with those who have become single again and then meet someone they wish to marry is their children. Your children have their own lives and they will not wish to share with you. But I'll talk about this at length later on.

But back to living alone or together. During the 1980s almost all newly single women were looking for another man to marry. In the 90s this changed as women became more educated, more independent and now had the option to live happily alone without frowns from society. Women were no longer considered to be 'old maids'. Men also found that a single man could be an asset for hostesses and they could still pursue their manly sports with the 'boys' and not have to settle down to one gal. Their singleness might even be considered intriguing.

Today society pretty much accepts one's lifestyle choices. However, it can get lonely by oneself. Only you can decide whether you simply want to date, move in together, or marry. There are great choices out there if you will only look. In future blogs I'll talk about well over 50 ways to find romance!

In the meantime, have fun. I'll even talk about how to flirt again, which is also in my book.

Happy hunting,
Gloria

Is Love Different after 50?

On this blog I will talk primarily about finding love after 50. I am the author of the book, "50 Ways to Find Love after 50" (Love and Lust in Later Life) which explores couples from ages 50 to well over 80. It doesn't matter how old you are. If you want romance or even just some companionship in your life, there's a good chance you can find it.

In my book I interviewed over 50 couples, how they met, what their life is now. Plus there are financial guidelines which you really, absolutely must consider. As we age, we also gather assets. Love is great, but there's often greed out there as well. Take care of yourself. Don't sacrifice security for a romantic thrill. And if that other person, man or woman, is the right one for you, you won't have too.

Well, this is just a small sample of what we'll be discussing. By the way, I'm over 50 and after being a widow for over 20 years, I met a wonderful man on the internet. We'll discuss that form of meeting as well. And when I learn how, I'll add a bio for this blog.

In the meantime, remember that no one can make you happy. That's something you need to do for yourself. We can discuss that, too.

Gloria