Saturday, January 24, 2009

Computer Problems, Have Patience

Hi dear friends,

I'm experiencing a serious problem with my hard drive. As long as I can post I will, but if you don't see a new column for several days, please have patience. I'll be back. Hopefully, I'll write one more before it fails me completely. I had it diagnosed at the genius bar at the Apple Store and there is a problem which needs to be fixed.

If all goes well, I'll post a new column in the next couple days. If not, I'll be back in a couple weeks. Thanks for checking in. Gloria

In the meantime, here's a new cartoon by my friend Harry Borgman to give you a chuckle.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Your New Passion, Glamour and Interfering Children

Dear Friends,

While the perception about people over 50 is slowly changing, many younger whippersnappers continue to believe that older people are almost all feeble, lame, losing their marbles, and doomed to live a life filled with doctors' appointments and prescription medicines. This view has been reinforced by many of the ads on TV. If you're over 50, you probably need a diaper or you're constipated!

Certainly the thought that those in the second half of their lives are exciting and glamorous and might find love and passion is quite incomprehensible. In many of the interviews for my book with couples who have found a new love and a new life, I discovered that often their children had tried to discourage their single parent from experiencing the fun and excitement of a burgeoning romance. One woman, the widow of a prominent man, withdrew her story because her children were so unhappy with her new marriage because he wasn't like their father. In another case a son stopped his mother from even having coffee with a male friend because he thought that it wasn't really right at her age. She spent the rest of her life alone and lonely.

Frequently if there was a problem, it was caused by the children. A daughter disapproved of her mother's marriage to an intelligent and most interesting man because he was an agnostic while the mother was a devout Catholic. They agreed not to try to convert the other and married. Their solution solved the problem. In another case the woman was Christian while the fiance was Jewish. That worked out too. After all, the two people involved were not only in love, but mature and able to solve such problems. Sometimes children can really be a pain.

In fact, several of the couples in my book felt that love was better this second time around. This time they were not mating only because of hormones, but they were finding a new partner who actually liked to do the same things as they. One man was finally able to share going to the theatre with his wife, an activity his former spouse had not enjoyed.

Let's face it. There's nothing like being admired and adored. I think as we age we become more aware that we often have to compromise and/or find new solutions. Our way isn't the only way. As our lives grow more harmonious, we can each expand our horizons , be more supportive of each other and consequently share more of our lives together.

Now is your new romance going to take the place of everyone else in your life as happened when we were very young and consumed with lust and love? Probably not. Both the partners now have developed deep relationships with friends whom they are loathe to give up. Nor should they. It's even better if you can merge your friends. I've always found that a party is much more interesting if you have a diverse group. One of the last parties I gave included both conservatives and liberals politically. Quite a stimulating debate developed. I'm not sure I'd have both sides back at the same time, but the by standers had an entertaining time.

That's my blog for the day.

We need more love in the world. If you're over 50, you still may find the love or a new love of your life. How? Read my book, "50 Ways to Find Romance after 50" which you can order from my website.