Monday, October 27, 2008

New & Old Loves

Hi there,

There is love after 50, believe me. I'm having the best time of my life with my new love. I just wish we could get our cats together and then decide where to live. We have friends in both towns (which are 100 miles apart) and driving back and forth is getting a bit strenuous.

I'll be bringing you stories of romances from my book and new ones as well. I just heard about a couple who met polka dancing at a Polish Hall and who recently married at ages 84 and 82. I'll track them down and give you a glimpse of their romance.

I continually meet people who have successfully found romance in later life. It happens all the time and it can happen for you. In fact it's easier now, in many ways, than ever before. Let me know what you would like to read about and I'll do my best.

Need to run but I'll get back to you soon.

Your romance guide, Gloria

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Make the Romance Game Fun!

Hi there!

The romance game should be fun. Particularly if you're over 30. It's even better as you get older. Or, as I said, it should be. If you expect each man or woman that you meet and then date to be THE ONE, you'll have a miserable time. I do not believe that there is a perfect mate to be found. Maybe an almost perfect one, but not the only soul mate for you. However, if you look for someone who shares many of your passions and lives a comparable life style, there should be a chance for success and happiness.

In order for the game to be a pleasure instead of a pain, you must start out by being happy the way you are now. I've learned to appreciate the little things such as having a rough road I drive on finally repaved. Finding a really ripe melon in the store. Catching the ringing phone before the person hangs up. Little stuff such as that.

Then when I would meet and date a man (before I met Harry whose cartoons give you a chuckle on each post) I was always pleased when he would assume I enjoyed a good restaurant or who would compliment me on my outfit or just give me a quick hug in the joy of greeting. I, in turn, would always compliment him on something - how nice he looked, what fun I was having, or how thoughtful he was. Make him happy, too. Always try to make the relationship positive even if you are not totally enchanted with your current date. It's good practice for that special relationship yet to come.

Well, that's it for now. Much more to come. Practice appreciating at least one thing each day.
I apreciate all your comments.


Friday, October 10, 2008

New Rules, Romance Gets Better

Perhaps there are new rules in that there are less rules about marriage, living together, dating, etc. Which is good as long as both parties view their relationship in the same way. This goes back to expectations which we all have regardless of age.

What is it that we want from a relationship? If we're from conventional backgrounds, we probably assume that a good relationship will gradually progress into a marriage relationship. But that's not always true of course. Recently I met a very successful artist now in her 80s who, I learned, lives with her lover three or four days out of seven which surprised me. I had assumed they were married, perhaps because they have white hair! I should know better. The young don't have a lock on a less conventional relationship. Obviously this is what works for them. In fact, I am finding such an unconventional relationship is becoming more of the norm. And it's OK.

In my book I interviewed another couple who dine together every night, travel together, and even share a cat, but choose to live just houses apart. In this case the man really wanted to get married; the woman not. This was their compromise.

Of course, you have to meet someone before you can decided what kind of a relationship you are going to have. I'll concentrate on how to find romance for awhile in the blogs to come. Please let me know what you think.

Look upon romance as an adventure, not as a need.


Wednesday, October 8, 2008

New Rules after 50

Hi dear reader,

Generally by the time we reach that delightful age of 50 or older, we've been married, divorced, widowed, or certainly we've had many encounters with the opposite sex. In my book "50 Ways to Find Romance after 50" I interviewed couples representing all the above experiences plus a couple of people who had never had a really serious relationship until the right person came along. Since about the 1990s, some couples have chosen to become best friends and committed to each other, but remain single. There are still a few who marry only because they are afraid of what their grandchildren might think or who worry they might be a bad example to their children and grandchildren. That's your own, private choice.

The single biggest problem with those who have become single again and then meet someone they wish to marry is their children. Your children have their own lives and they will not wish to share with you. But I'll talk about this at length later on.

But back to living alone or together. During the 1980s almost all newly single women were looking for another man to marry. In the 90s this changed as women became more educated, more independent and now had the option to live happily alone without frowns from society. Women were no longer considered to be 'old maids'. Men also found that a single man could be an asset for hostesses and they could still pursue their manly sports with the 'boys' and not have to settle down to one gal. Their singleness might even be considered intriguing.

Today society pretty much accepts one's lifestyle choices. However, it can get lonely by oneself. Only you can decide whether you simply want to date, move in together, or marry. There are great choices out there if you will only look. In future blogs I'll talk about well over 50 ways to find romance!

In the meantime, have fun. I'll even talk about how to flirt again, which is also in my book.

Happy hunting,

Monday, October 6, 2008

Is Love Different after 50?

On this blog I will talk primarily about finding love after 50. I am the author of the book, "50 Ways to Find Love after 50" (Love and Lust in Later Life) which explores couples from ages 50 to well over 80. It doesn't matter how old you are. If you want romance or even just some companionship in your life, there's a good chance you can find it.

In my book I interviewed over 50 couples, how they met, what their life is now. Plus there are financial guidelines which you really, absolutely must consider. As we age, we also gather assets. Love is great, but there's often greed out there as well. Take care of yourself. Don't sacrifice security for a romantic thrill. And if that other person, man or woman, is the right one for you, you won't have too.

Well, this is just a small sample of what we'll be discussing. By the way, I'm over 50 and after being a widow for over 20 years, I met a wonderful man on the internet. We'll discuss that form of meeting as well. And when I learn how, I'll add a bio for this blog.

In the meantime, remember that no one can make you happy. That's something you need to do for yourself. We can discuss that, too.