Friday, February 19, 2010
Lately on TV there have been many discussions about how you meet someone new. Of course, all anyone has to do is read my book, "50 Ways to Find Romance After 50, Love and Lust in Later Life." Naturally I'd feel that way. After all I met Harry following my own advice.
Be that as it may, one of the primary rules is that if you are not meeting any one new and interesting in your present environment, then you should get out of your comfort zone. Harry and I found each other on the internet. Actually I found his cat, Laura. He was holding her in his arms and as I have had cats all my life, I felt that here was a man with whom I might find many things in common. In fact, that was true. Also our lifestyles were similar as he was an artist who worked free lance for many years and as I was a writer I had done the same. We also both had traveled extensively During the 23 years that I was single having been widowed many years before, I would date a very nice man who had hardly been out of the state or another one who felt in competition with me which I could never understand. I was never trying to be better than anyone else. I just do what I do.
Which brings me to a second 'truth'. Look for someone who has similar interests. When young our raging hormones often would lead to an attraction to someone quite different from ourselves. Maybe this is a way that nature keeps a good mix of genes, but living with someone can be difficult enough let alone if that someone has totally different ideas and pleasures. Often in my book a man or woman would express how much s/he enjoyed life now that s/he had someone with whom to share their special joys of life. This doesn't mean you have to be like the Bobbysey twins, but too often I've encountered, for example, a couple where one loves to travel and the other wants to stay home or one adores sports and the other could care less. It gets old soon trying to be interested in something you care nothing about.
In future posts, I'll talk about how to use the internet to date as well as the other 50 plus ways to find romance under or over 50 years of age. But whatever you do, look at finding romance as an adventure. If your expectations are too high or too set or too rigid you'll be constantly disappointed and probably give up too soon. Even if you never meet the right one, you could have a lot of fun. And who knows, the wrong one could have a right friend.
At first I was afraid that the cats which drew us together would keep us apart. I recently brought my two down to Harry's and after a couple days peace reigned - more or less. The biggest problem is getting them in their traveling cases and then lifting them. My Snickelfritz weighs 18 pounds without the case. I'll include their photos as we go along.
Whatever your age, you can still find enjoyment dating. You can also be bored. Going out with the girls - or fellows - can be fun too. I've done both. But meeting Harry has definitely enriched my life. We are engaged and to some degree we are comfortable in the relationship as is. However, we have agreed we need to get our act together. One of these days!
Harry's cat JPEG joins the mail.