Thursday, November 20, 2008

Take a Chance on Romance!

Recently Anne Mulder, one-half of one of the couples in my book "50 Ways to Find Romance after 50" was in the news. Anne is now the interim president of Grand Rapids Community College. She is being paid over $600 a day plus a monthly allowance of $500 for a car and $2,000 for other expenses. She's always been successful and continues to be so.

I've known Anne for many years and she is an outstanding person. Her marriage to Tony reads like something out of a romance novel. In 1995 Anne, then a retired president of Lake Michigan College in Michigan, went on vacation with longtime friend, Vernis, to the Greek island of Mykonos. She met Tony in his jewelry shop there and was intrigued.

She and Vernis stayed on the island for a few more days and she enjoyed a light flirtation with this handsome man. "It was so unlike me, but I decided to have an adventure," Anne said. She invited him to the United States for Christmas.

Eventually they married in 1999 and decided to live in Florida where Anne owned a condo. She enjoyed her retirement but later accepted a two-year commitment to be Dean of the School of Education at Grand Valley State University. Her friends loved having her back and we'd see them occasionally at a party or dinner. Then she went back into retirement which of course only lasted a couple of years.

For the details of this fairy tale romance you'll have to read my book. You can leave your request with the comments, have it ordered by your local book store, or visit my website: (It sells for under $20 and would make a great gift!) Incidentally not only did Anne take a chance on following her heart when she met Tony, she also is a great example of an older woman with a somewhat younger man. Hoo-ray!

I am constantly meeting couples who have taken a chance in the second half of the lives to find happiness. One couple dated in high school and the story of how they reunited is another fantastic tale. Another couple met when volunteering with the local theatre group.

If you haven't found a new romance in your own environment, maybe you need to venture into another pasture. What's the interest of your heart? Go, explore, enjoy. You might meet someone with whom to share your passion.

If you have recently met someone or you know of someone who has, let me know. I'd like to share the story with the other bloggers. Happy hunting! Gloria

Saturday, November 15, 2008

The Holidays Are Coming

It's hard to believe that it's less than two weeks before Thanksgiving. Then the holiday season begins.

This can be a very lonely time for singles. In an earlier post I mentioned that in the 1980s when people were divorced or widowed, they soon began looking for another partner. Particularly women. Then in the 1990s this changed. Women were often delighted with their new found freedom and as many had been or were working, they also had money to spend. Today the emphases seems to be on individual happiness and so both sexes are somewhat reluctant to even start to date. They may have had a difficult relationship previously and simply don't want to venture there again.

Men are frequently afraid of commitment, but women are slowly catching up with them. On the other hand, women often have certain expectations which may make it difficult to find a new love. One of my friends, now in the dating game in the big sky, wouldn't even entertain the thought of a date if the man was bald. She wanted a man with hair! Maybe because her late husband had been bald for much of their long, married life. It's time, my friends to be realistic and to look beyond the obvious. That gorgeous blond with curves may be interested only in herself and her own pleasures. That guy that looks like Tom Selleck may only be concerned with what he wants. I suggest you make a list of the basisc qualities you want in a new partner. I wanted someone who liked cats. (You'll find a short version of that story in my companion blog, or click on the link below my bio.

Why bother, you may ask. Why even read my book, "50 Ways to Find Romance after 50" if you are not looking for romance. Well, think about the holidays. Maybe you never get lonely. I did. Even though I was dating some very nice men during the 23 years before I met Harry (again see The Romance Game), I still was lonely for that special someone with whom to share the holiday joy. It's just not that much fun to go to parties alone although that may be a good place to meet new people. I loved my friends and my children always made sure I was invited to everything they did, but it was never quite the same. Sometimes you want someone with whom to share the quiet time, the beauty of that time of year, even the pleasure of buying something special for your love.

Of course, once you meet that new someone, it may make the holidays more complicated. Whose house do you go to for Thanksgiving? Christmas? Or are you now obligated to have a holiday celebration for his/her family yourself? Well, it can all be worked out with a little patience and a lot of tact.

But I'm not lonely anymore. I have kept all my single friends and I would never abandon them for many reasons which I'll talk about in another blog. Now I also have the joy of a loving partner so in a way, I have it all. If you'd like to learn about the many ways to find romance at any age, read my book. There's even a chapter on how to flirt again. My friend Ruthe, who has been widowed for several years, found one romance with a delightful man who shared her interest in art at a painting class. He has since faded out of picture. Recently she stopped at a gas station but was a little puzzled as to how to fill the gas tank of her car. A handsome, tall (she's almost six feet) gentleman offered to help her. They've been dating ever since! And she wasn't even looking, but I can tell that her life is much happier lately. It was full and rewarding before because she thoroughly enjoys her painting and likes her life, but now it's even more fun.

Think about it and don't be afraid of a new relationship. Also if you plan any parties this year, be sure to invite both your single and your married friends. I just had a birthday party for my oldest son and invited them all. I try never to forget my friends who have filled my life before when I was married, during the time I was single or just dating, and now with a wonderful man in my life.
If you are interested in my book or in buying one as a gift to a friend, let me know on the comments link.

You'll also see a link to Harry's Art Blog which you can visit.



Monday, November 10, 2008

It's Never Too Late

Hello there,

On this blog I will concentrate on stories about romances of couples 50 and over. In my book I interviewed over 50 couples - how they met, about their courtship, and a little bit about their philosophy. In all cases, the couples were happy about their relationship. And I hear about new romances every day.

A dear friend of mine, M., was widowed in late June of this year. Her husband had been ill for quite a while and for over a year she didn't know if he would be alive in the morning when she woke. For several years they had gone with another couple to her class reunion which was in another town. It just so happened that in January of this year J. had lost his wife. Before M.'s husband died they had planned to go to a reunion together in August of this year. J. called M. and suggested that he pick her up and he would drive her to the reunion. She asked me what I thought. I said: GO. My partner and lover, Harry, and I even took M. out to my favorite shop, Chico's, so she could shop for a new outfit. They went and had a good time. After all she had known him since high school. And high school reunions, I might point out, are a great place to renew old friendships. There's an incredible story in my book of one such couple.

Anyway, J. started driving up from his home in another state to visit M. and she introduced him to many of our friends. He invited her to go to Florida with him where he has a condo. She asked me if I thought she should go. I replied: "If you were 20 or even 30 I would suggest you go slowly. But you are 80. GO." You see it can happen at any time.

It's never to late to find romance. I might add I have talked to M. since she went down to Florida and she's having a wonderful time. That doesn't mean she's forgotten her late husband of over 57 years, but she also realizes she must get on with her life.

Sometimes romance just happens. Sometimes it may take years. It was over 23 years after my husband died before I met Harry. Oh, I dated, but it just never worked out. I have many more stories to tell you and would like to hear about your experience.

In my book, most of the couples did decide to marry. However, over the years that I have written about romance after 50, marriage isn't always the answer to a relationship. In the 1980s, if a man or woman became single, he or she pretty much wanted to get married again. Then in the 1990s, the atmosphere changed. Women were discovering that they liked being single but loved having a relationship. In some cases there was still the view that couples should marry because of what their grandchildren might think. They didn't want to be a bad example. I do have one couple in my book who each live in houses near each other, share a cat, have dinner together, and travel together as well. She was in her 60s when they met, had a notable career and didn't want to marry although she thoroughly enjoyed the companionship. Times have changed even more in this new century. After all, who cares at this age.

You can read an excerpt from my book at my website: Also I am writing about all aspects of romance in my other blog: You might wish to check that one out, too. We're going to have some fun astrology tips on that one as well different cartoon by Harry. Check out his blog, too. ( .

Tune in for more stories. I look forward to hearing from you.